Please Yourself


I haven’t had any major drama happen for about a year. Since then I’ve been kind of avoiding anything that could spark even the slightest bit of negativity purely out of fear that I’d shut down. I’d shut down and get myself worked up and do something silly. Maybe it’s my current state of mind or maybe it’s something else – but I’ve become a lot more complacent to being treat like shit.

Since February I’ve had a few instances in which I found out people didn’t like me, didn’t want to talk to me or they have spoke about me. It’s feels like high school politics again and I’ve been quite surprised by how I’ve handled the situations.  Instead of being obsessed with finding out why someone didn’t like me I accepted it and realised that, people won’t like me just as I won’t like them. It’s life. Rather than fixating myself on why someone wouldn’t want to talk to me and would rather speak about me, I’ve become a lot more logical and come to understand that people will focus their attention on someone else rather than face their problems head on. It isn’t something wrong with me, it’s their problem and therefore it’s them who need to change – not me.

These problems have come and gone, they haven’t been massive and there’s always something else I’ve been more bothered with. Admittedly I haven’t figured out if this is because I don’t care as much as I once did, or because they aren’t really important to me at all but perhaps it’s both. Maybe if the people involved had worth to my life already I’d be more impacted.

All in all I’m becoming more and more comfortable with pleasing myself. I’ve started making efforts to sort problems I have with myself out before bothering to waste my time on silly little bumps in the road that are related to me; but aren’t my problem. What’s the point in trying to figure something out if it isn’t your thing to figure out in the first place?

You Might Also Like