Finding Your Tribe


I was listening to a podcast on the train home from London the other day, one of RuPaul's, and it really got me thinking about finding your tribe. I think it's around my age when people have usually more or less found their feet in what kind of person they like, the kind of people they like to have friendships with and more importantly - the kind of person they want to be.

But I think it's the time leading up to that - the time you spend arguing with people, making new friendships and moving on from old friendships that's the most important for finding your tribe.

I don't know why I suddenly think I'm an expert on everything, but I'm enjoy talking about this kind of stuff. And it allows me to talk about myself too and that's what I'm best at...

The most important thing in finding the best type of people for you is to find out what kind of person you are first. Getting to know yourself, and getting used to yourself, can be fun. I've spent a lot of time in the past three years or so trying new things and experimenting with things to see what I liked. I went through a phase of jogging for a month to see if I was that kind of person. Nah. I did nothing but read for a month and found out how much I loved reading. It isn't big stuff really, but it's the little things that will help you find out what you like. And it's these little, random things that will help you find things in common with your tribe.

Think of it like LEGO. Most if not all LEGO pieces fit together in some way, just like most people fit together - but nothing is more satisfying than building something that looks really good. What's the point in building friendships if it's just going to be a big pile of ugly, unorganised mess? Good friendships, relationships and 'tribes' come from good structure and understanding. You'll go through life (this coming from a 19 year old.. so much experience lol) finding you fit in with loads of different piles of LEGO, but when you find your snug fit it will be perfect.

Don't get me wrong, you might think you find your snug fit and then realise that you're actually just too big for this set - or a spare part. People are always changing and growing, and the friendships you once thought were perfect can eventually turn sour, and you'll find yourself looking for something else. Something better.

Writing this blog post has made me think about the friendship groups and friends I've had in the past and how many of those friends I still speak to on a genuine level now. It isn't many and although I still like to think some of the people I knew in high school, college - even primary school are still friends to me, they might not think the same. It's a two way street. The friends I have now are like a 'Best Of' album sort of thing, they're my friends because they're actually my friends. They aren't friend because of convenience or I see them every day, they're my friends because they are my friends.

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