The Past Isn't In The Past


Recently I've been feeling quite nostalgic and retrospective, which isn't unusual for me - BUT I've been feeling it a lot more this past few weeks. It's probably to do with all the massive changes that have been going on over Summer, and will continue to happen through Autumn. It's got me thinking though, about how different things have been and how much has changed be it from my friendships, my job or just in general - and how that has effected how I am now.

Obviously, things we've gone through in the past are going to mould us and change us etc etc bollocks blah blah, but I'm talking about how some people like to live by the fact they live in the moment and they leave the past where it is. I don't really think that's the best thing. For example, if you move on from something, that's fine. I totally think people should get over things and move on for their own good, I just don't understand why people would then forget the whole thing ever happened. 

Maybe it's just me, but I like to look back and remember things for what they were, even if they were bad - because then it makes me more appreciative of what I have now or like, I can take the piss out of myself for how much of a wee ball bag I was. Take college for example, the two years I spent there were awful and I hated about 80% of my time there, but I wouldn't change it because it made me a different person. Probably not better because I'm still as shit as I was two years ago, just an older shit. Like, a cat took a shit in a litter tray and no one cleaned it for two years. I'm that kind of shit. I don't smell anymore but I'm still shit - yeah?

You're welcome to use that metaphor if you want, it's great.

I was talking to my friend Scarlett before we went to sleep last night, it was a tired 3am talk so shit got real and we were serving up some deep shit (not the bad cat shit kind of shit) in bed. She put it perfectly, she said that relationships and friendships feel a lot more organic and less forced now, because we choose who we want to speak to and it's only just begun to feel like that. Honestly, I have no idea what I'm talking about her and this probably isn't making much sense because yet again I'm an 18 year old boy trying to sound like an 18 year old man. I am not a man.

I am NOT an adult.

Basically though, I've decided to start letting the past stay in the future - stop forgetting about things and people just because they did bad things to me or I grew up. I think by doing this I'll make more rounded decisions and maybe I can start acting a bit more level headed with things. 

This whole post is just some brain fart that I wanted to let my thoughts out because it's 6pm on a Sunday evening and I'm sat with three cats, home alone with a Frozen sippy cup trying to think deep about life. In reality, I have no clue whatsoever what's going on.


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