Go Away, Demon


It's become quite apparent to me, especially recently, that everyone has a big fat demon. I'm not talking about the little flaws and nit-picky things people find about themselves (or other people) - I'm talking about the big, fat beasty that is always sat on your back pulling your hair. My demon has started to really get on my nerves this Summer. He's sat on my back and slowly whispered in my ear, telling me I'm not good enough, or I look weird, or I need to stop being so happy.

So, I've started trying to belittle my demon. I gave him a name for example. He's called Robert. And when Robert sends messages up to my brain that I don't really appreciate - I put those messages in tiny bubbles and watch them get bigger and bigger until they burst and are non-existent. Then, if he persists and keeps up the game, I'll turn on some really loud music and try sing at the top of my voice so I can't hear him anymore. Or, I'll talk to someone about anything - it can be about literally anything. Because again, that's pushing Robert away.

Once your demon has got on top of you, you're at bottom. The whole concept of having a 'demon' comes from the thought that, as a child, you're so carefree and you have no conception of what 'perfect' is or what you need to strive for to get where you want to be. When I was a kid, I really wanted to be an artist or a famous chef, and I would tell people (my nanna) that I would stop at nothing till I got there. Then when I was around 13, Robert hopped on my back and started telling me to get my head out of the clouds and be realistic. I could still be one of those things (even tho I'm awful at both cooking AND drawing), but Robert has told me that I can't be because of how hard it would be.

My point is, that when we're younger we don't get told all this nonsense about how we need to be realistic and have goals that are smaller and easier so we won't be disappointed. When we're younger we don't care if we graze our knee's or if we get mud in our hair - because we're having fun. Now, having fun generally means other people need to know you're having fun. Because if they don't know, how will they know?

Our demons jump on when we're 8, 13 or 17 - it can be whenever. I think the key to getting them off of your back and lowering their voices (I think it's impossible to actually get rid of them) is trivialise them. Take it back to childhood, make them sound immature. You can't take it seriously if it you imagine it as an ugly dwarf grabbing hold of your back whispering sweet nothings in your ears!

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