Please, Stop: A letter from my liver

12:42

This post has been a long time coming.

If you know me personally you will know for sure how much I love alcohol. But I hate it too. I just love getting drunk and if you think about it, getting drunk is a pretty stupid concept. However bad binge drinking is and I know it is bad, I just can't stop myself once I'm tipsy. 

My first experience of alcohol wasn't a good one, I was 14 and stole loads of vodka from my auntie's house - obviously I didn't know my limits so I ended up crawling up to the stairs only to projectile vomit halfway up them. Traumatic. That first encounter taught me right away that I need to know my limits. Except it didn't, and although I KNOW I have a limit I don't think once about it.

Thing is, like the real problem, binge drinking as it is is very bad for your body because of the amount of alcohol you consume in such a short period of time. But when you're doing it 2-3 times a week it begins to take its toll. Luckily, I haven't been badly harmed (so far) (touch wood) by alcohol apart from having to stay in bed for a week because I fell off a curb and basically broke my ankle. But I know it's going too far now and I need to stop for a while, and then start to monitor it properly when I'm ready. 

The phrase go hard or go home springs to mind. I can't count the amount of times I've gone out for a few drinks and ended up smashed. And I mean full on smashed! Take Thursday night for example, me and a friend were having a bit of a sleepover - we got a few bottles in just to have when we were watching films. That ended up in us going to her local pub to do the quiz. Which ended up in 4 glasses of wine each. And then a bottle of wine. Leading onto one of us vomiting in the toilets. Then we got kicked out - it was only 11! Or that time we had a work night out in a karaoke booth and me and my friend Annabel ended up doing the splits in the middle of Tiger Tiger and crawling back to the booth. Mess. There was also this night. 

This intervention springs from a messy messy messy night out in Leeds. The night was pulled to a stop a bit earlier than planned due to other things happening - but I don't think I have been that drunk in a long time. Celebrating a friends 18th obviously meant we were going to plow it - but 80p shots of cheap Tequila or Sambuca (I'm not sure which one) are never good. Ever. I think I blew £15 on just them. 4 shots of Jager, a shot of Amaretto, 4 cheapo shots of cola Vodka, a few alcopops and half a bottle of Vodka before we went out contributed to the blind mess I was. There was literally an hour last night where I couldn't keep my head up straight and all my vision went. 

It's all part of it.

What I need to sort out is my mindset. I will literally do anything if I think it's gonna make for a good story the next day. This means I make an utter fool of myself and do the most stupid things; and to be fair they do make for good stories. Don't think that means I can't have fun when I'm not drunk - because I do. But drinking sheds any form of sensibleness I possess.. So I get myself into some situations.

Like that time I took a bottle of Absinthe to my friends house party (she wasn't my friend then - I had met her once previous, and I only knew 2 of the people at the party) and I made everyone have multiple shots of it. That lead on to people vomiting, passing out and bleeding. All while I was dancing to cheesy pop music. Great!

So, for the month of February I intend to go dry. No alcohol for 4 weeks, at all. This needs to stop now or I'll end up dead in a well or something. A career in being the creepy well girl isn't what I want - and you probably need a degree for it anyway.

Let's see how this goes..

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