Summer

17:30

My idea of summer this year was far from the reality of my summer this year. Firstly, I did not become skinny and spot free, which means I’m still the awkwardly not fat not skinny size I was in April (although I have managed to shed a few pounds – go me!) but my weight and skin can wait until I start to care a bit less about the fact that I STILL DON’T HAVE A BOYFRIEND! ! ! I’m totally kidding, partially.


At the start of summer, I had all these plans in my head that I would go to the seaside and spend loads of time with my friends and kiss cute boys and get drunk in fields and wear nice clothes and read loads and get a tan and I’m starting to sound like a girl. I don’t know what happened but I did none of these things. Wait, I know what happened – I didn’t put in any effort whatsoever.


A three-month break from college seemed like an amazing thing when it started, but then it happened and now I just need to get back to college because I swear without it my life is a mess. My attention span has totally and utterly gone, I get distracted by the smallest thing and even when I set my mind on doing something productive, it still takes me about 43 decades. I am the emotional equivalent of a menopausal woman cross between a 13-year-old girl. Also, I forgot how to spell words such as favourite and ungrateful so I need some of the education in my brain.
This is sounding so so pessimistic but good things have happened this summer too! Here is a list of them:
  1.      I got a new job in the LEGO store – which is SUPER COOL
  2.       Time spent away from people and spent thinking more and being more self reliant has put things in perspective for me
  3.       I’ve thought out my future plans in terms of uni and what I want to do with my career (for now)
  4.        I’ve made a whole bunch of new friends who are brilliant and cute and so funny and amazing and accepting and just good people
  5.      I watched Ugly Betty, Orange is the New Black, American Horror Story and Sex and the City from start to finish without any breaks


My biggest hurdle this summer was change, because over the past few years summer has been the biggest part of the year for my in terms of how I grew and changed as a person. I look at myself two summers ago and hardly recognise myself, I was a shy, fat, scared little boy who didn’t really trust anyone or see good in people. I look at myself last summer and see a self centred, mean, shallow minded brat who judged everyone as soon as he saw them and cut off people as soon as he saw a bad quality in them. 
                                                         Two years ago, amazing hair!

Knowing for a fact I have completely departed from both of these people in the past year I was scared to see how I would change this summer - but I don’t think I really have. Having said that I do believe I’m a nicer, more mature person after the past three months, because they have been quite eventful come to think of it. I just don’t think that changing matters to me anymore – I’m comfortable with who I am for now.



Tom

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